Okay, then - I haven't scared you off. Cool. You know your life's ambition to be a musician will most likely lead to a life on the road with low pay, no benefits, no respect, problems w/ personal relationships, probable substance abuse, & high car insurance rates - but it still sounds good.

Here's a few Q&A's for readers who might be REAL "newbies" to life on the road:

You've got your gear, right? Let's see - if you're playing a string instrument, do you have a good tuner? Yes, I guess you could get up there & do it by ear, but unless you've got perfect pitch, the audience (not to mention the club owner) will NOT be impressed. Get a good tuner - not a $20 "bottom of the line" model. Got extra strings, right? And cords, too? Good.

What's that? Not a guitar player, you say? Cool - I love drummers. You've got an extra snare head & "that springy thing" for underneath, right? And an extra belt or spring for that bass drum pedal, too? (Man, don't you HATE it when that happens?). Extra sticks? In different weights? Bag to keep 'em in? Wanna save yourself a lot of grief? Invest in a small fan, too - you'll never regret it!

Is there anyone in charge of extra P.A. cords, mic cords, extension cords, & power strips?

Sooner or later (probably sooner), you're gonna need 'em all. Once the band gets going, it's a good idea to invest in some extra speakers, too - bummer to lose a good-paying gig because the bass player has to go thro' the P.A., the whole band has to play too soft, & the vocals sound crappy. Plan for emergencies as much as possible; invest band earning into this sort of stuff because the road is hard on equipment. If you're going out for a serious road trip, INSURE YOUR EQUIPMENT! ! ! Look at it like ANY business - insurance is a must.

Okay, now you've got all your gear, & have a few weeks of road work - not good gigs at hotels & resorts where they take care of you, but "real" road-shows, one nighters & week-ends at road-houses & dives. Here's the single best way I know to stretch those $$$ - try to avoid "eating out" as much as possible.

Get an ice-chest & pack it w/ sandwich stuff, salad makings & fresh fruit - "real" food, not junk food. Don't forget the plastic silverware, napkins, etc. Hard to spread mayo w/ your finger. If the hotel room has a microwave, head to the local grocery & get some microwavable food (REAL food, not pizza rolls & nachos!). Eat good, stay healthy - try to live on fast-food & truck-stop snacks, feel like crap. It's that simple. Take care of your body - you'll need it later on. Sore throats suck big-time when you're trying to sing for the 15th night in a row.

A cell-phone w/ "true" nationwide long-distance can be a good investment. If you can't cut that, at least make sure someone has one of those long-distance cards - preferably who ever is in charge of keeping track of the phone numbers for the venues you'll be playing at . . . .someone IS in charge of that, right? And is calling ahead a few days before the show to confirm the gig - and get directions?

Okay, last tip for this edition - make sure that darn vehicle is road-ready! Tires, fluids, brakes , spare tire, battery, jumpers - all that stuff. Check it twice. Especially the spare tire. Trust me on this - if your in a band that does any significant amount of road shows, you ARE going to have flat tires! One last thing - - be sure you have a MAP!...Martin Paul