Let me start with a sort of disclaimer - it might be more accurate to descibe my little corner here in the Evor "tips" section as "reasons you should change your mind about being a musician" rather than "tips on earning a living as a musican" because a major part of my puropose in being a contributor here is to expose some of the myths commanly held about being a professional musician - and by professional musician, I mean someone who earns a living playing music - period!

So, if you're looking for "tips on being a rock star" or "tips on getting famous" or even "tips on earning a living playing only your own original songs" or "tips on making a living by playing only songs I like", don't bother reading any further. I won't pretend to have any knowledge on any of those things.

I'd like to start off with a an edited passage on "the vulgar trades" - From Cicero's "De Officiis" , a treastie on moral duites, contained in a letter to his son, written around 60 BCE -

"First, those . . . which incur people's ill-will, as those of tax collecters or money lenders . . .all hired workmen whom we pay for mere manual labor . . .and all mechanics are engaged in vulgar trades. . . Least respectable of all are those trades that cater to sensual pleasures: Fishmongers, butchers, cooks, and poulterers, and fishermen. Add to these if you please, the perfumers, dancers, and the whole corps de ballet" ("corps de ballet" also roughly translates into vaudvile performers)
So . . the "vulgar trades", in descending order, are tax-gatherers, money-loaners, manual laborers, retailers, mechanics, food sellers & preparers - and at the bottom of the list - entertainers. If you think this attitude has changed much in the intevening 2000 years, go ask 10 fathers at random which they'd prefer to have dating their daugter - a banker, a mechanic, a store owner, a cook, a fisherman, or a musician. . . .okay, I'm guessing more than a few readers are saying "so what's the point" right about now. . . .

The point is - being a musican is not a very highly respected trade in "the real world" - somewhere below fast-food worker, auto mechanic, & fisherman. To most folks in the industrialized west, it's a hobby, not a profession for adults (take my word on this, music stores don't stay in business selling igear to working musicians - Fender sells well over a million guitars a year in the U.S. - how many of those do you think were sold to someone who earns their living playing guitar?) So, if you're looking to be a musician, be prepared to have a real hard time: getting credit, getting a landlord to lease you an apartment, getting insurance on your car - not many folks go "whoopie - now there's a good credit risk/tennant/whatever" when they see "Musician" written beside "Occupation".

Okay . . .for those of you still reading, here's a tip to hold you over until next installment - I think it's one of the single most useful things a "bar band" can do:

Learn how to play "Happy Birthday" - several different ways. You're going to have to play it many, many, many hundreds, if not thousands, of times - get used to it. Audiences have heard bored bands do lackluster versions of "Happy Birthday" on many occasions - you & your band will REALLY stand out if you work up a version thats somehow "different" and play it as if you care.

Remember - when you're playing this song, it's a special day for someone in the audience, and everyone there would like to "share the love" - help them out. The audience will remember you for it, the folks in the "birthday party" will remember you for it - & the folks who work the bar will very likely make note of it & pass along word to the owner/manager (who's likely not there) that "this band really got 'em going - w/ Happy Birthday!!!!".

I've gotten gigs as "house band" using a high-energy "two-step into a regaee" version of Happy Birthday as an audition song - I almost always include it at auditions - on one occasion, we knew the other bands auditioning had us beat hands-down as far as "playing it like the record", some had a stunning girl up front & all the guys had "perfect hair" & "the look" - just like a hundred other Top 40 Cover bands - but they had no real "personality" - we did just the one song, "Happy Birthday", & got the gig - the booker stopped us after the one song & said "I don't need to hear any more". . . . so never underestimate the power of a good version of "Happy Birthday"